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By infmom, November 21, 2009 11:03 am

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Unless you live right on the Equator, your seasons are changing right now.  Well, duh, talk about stating the obvious. 

I know a lot of us (myself included) don’t like to spend major amounts of time on skin care.  After I wash it clean, it’s good to go, that’s my philosophy.  Unfortunately, for a lot of us (myself included) that approach just isn’t enough.

Over the past few years I’ve become a somewhat grumpy consumer of skin lotions of various kinds.  My skin was never dry before, but boy, it sure is now.  Unfortunately, changing the habits of a lifetime and remembering to “moisturize” (as someone who was a teenager in the Sixties I hate that word about as much as I do “kicky” and “glissy” which thank goodness we don’t see kicking–or glissing–around any more) is a royal pain.  Did you know that when I was a kid, the manufacturers of Dove soap advertised it as “One quarter cleansing cream” instead of “moisturizing cream” the way they do today?  People apparently used to buy it to get clean, but now they’re older and something else is more important.

Multicolored skin doesn’t look good when it’s dry.  Your colors will be dulled by an ashy overlay.  Oily multicolored skin won’t look good either, if it’s not kept properly clean and exfoliated.  (Exfoliation’s a fancy term used to sell cosmetics.  You can rub off the dead skin cells with a washcloth in the shower.  Just so you know.)  So, whether you’re headed into winter or into summer where you live, it’s time to pay closer attention to your skin.

If you need skin lotions, browse a few big drugstores and pick up travel sizes.  Places like Whole Foods sell travel sizes, too, of the kinds of lotions not usually found in drugstores.  Once you’ve experimented with as many small inexpensive bottles as you want, you’ll have a good idea of what works for you, and what scents you can live with.  I am very happy with the lavender/citrus scent of some of the skin cleaners and lotions I use, but that’s definitely not for everyone.

If you need toners or astringents to use on oily skin, try the inexpensive ones first.  Plain witch hazel does a dandy job and costs next to nothing.  It does have a distinctive scent, but that dissipates quickly.  And, as I said, you don’t have to spend extra on “exfoliators” if you don’t want to.  After your skin has soaked a while in the shower, rub it with the rough side of a washcloth, stopping to rinse the washcloth out frequently.  Don’t scrub too hard.  It doesn’t take super powers to clean your skin.

You can find “body wash” products in almost any drugstore or supermarket.  These come in bottles like lotion and are designed to be scrubbed all over the body and then rinsed off, presumably leaving “moisturizer” behind.  I’ve tried a couple of those and they work quite well, but I’m still not used to the feeling of “moisturizer” on my skin instead of the clean feeling left behind by good old soap and water (OK, my doctor suggested I use Dove, what can I say).  There are also moisturizers that you apply in the shower and then rinse off.  I’ve tried one of those and it works as expected.  But I’m still grumpy about being this age and having this skin so I’m not consistent about it.

If you’re headed into winter, keep your skin clean and keep it from drying out.  Don’t just slap some lotion on the ink and call it good.  You may not be able to see the dryness on the rest of you, but if it’s on your ink it’s all over.  If you’re headed into summer, keep your skin clean and keep the dead skin cells from accumulating (and use sunscreen, of course).

Becoming a multicolored person means more than just going and getting inked.  It means taking care of your colors so you and the world can admire them for the rest of your life.

What are your favorite skin care products?  I’m always on the lookout for something new.

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By infmom, August 20, 2009 10:43 am

So, are you on Twitter?  I am–click the link on the right to see what I’m talking about.

One of my Twitter friends (someone I have met offline as well) is thinking about getting a tattoo.  Naturally, I leaped at the opportunity to plug this blog.  (I’ve also handed out a few of my new spiffy MOO MiniCards this past week–yes, I’d love to have more readers).  My friend asked me about whether aloe is used in tattoos, since he’s allergic to it.

Which gives me the perfect opportunity to talk about skin care and tattoos.  I’ve talked about this in the past (see the sidebar on the right? Scroll down to the Tags section and click on “aftercare” or “skin care”) but it’s always a subject for discussion because once you’re multicolored you have to take better care of your skin if you don’t want your

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investment to fade or flake away.  Today I’m going to talk about natural (and more-natural) remedies.

Aloe vera juice is a favorite natural skin-problem remedy for many people.  I’ve had aloe vera plants for many years, starting when my kids got diaper rash.  Using it is simple–you just clip off a segment of leaf, squeeze it gently to press out the juice, and apply it to your skin.  It’s a clear gel that smooths on easily and protects your skin for quite a while.  If you don’t have plants, you can buy aloe vera juice products in most of the places where you’d buy other skin care products, but read the ingredients carefully so you don’t get a bunch of extra chemicals you don’t want.  Some of the aloe vera products sold in stores are designed to soothe sunburn and contain a mild topical anaesthetic.  You may not want to apply this to newly tattooed skin.  The idea is to keep as many possible irritants off the tattoo until it’s well healed.  After it’s healed it’s not so critical.

It’s also a good idea to keep the skin protected and moisturized during and after the healing process.  A lot of tattoo artists warn against applying petroleum products to the tattoo as it heals–but I’ve seen some of those people turn right around and recommend A&D Ointment, which is petroleum based.  Go figure.  Petroleum jelly (Vaseline) is not a moisturizer, per se, but once you’ve got the skin well hydrated it helps keep the moisture inside.  Judging by how many “don’t use petroleum products” warnings I’ve seen, I would not advise putting Vaseline on a new tattoo, but once the healing is complete, you could put a very thin layer on after you bathe.  The down side to that, of course, is that petroleum jelly forms a coating on the skin rather than sinking into it and you may end up getting it on your clothes or on your bed.

As for commercial skin care products, there are zillions of them out there.  Today I’m only going to talk about the ones I have personally used and liked.  I am not a fan of putting layers of glop on my skin, tattooed or not, so I look for products that are light, contain as few noxious chemicals as possible, and are not tested on animals.

Burt’s Bees has several really good skin care formulas.  I have mentioned their Hand Salve before, because it contains almost the same ingredients as some of the products designed specifically for use on tattoos, and is more readily available.  It’s light, not greasy, and has what is to me a pleasant scent.  I know some people are sensitive to scents, though, and this one does have eucalyptus oil in it, so you might want to see if you can sniff it before you buy it.

LUSH Cosmetics has stores all over the world and a mail order catalog.  Their products use natural ingredients and are processed in small batches, and each comes with a “best used by” date.  A little LUSH goes a long way, too.  If you’re anywhere close to one of their retail outlets I recommend going in and talking to their super helpful salespeople, who will happily give you a generous sample of anything you’d like to try.  I’ve tried their skin creams, shampoo, soap, and powder and have liked them all.  One caveat:  These products tend to be strongly scented, although the scents do fade after application.  If you’re not sure, definitely get a sample and see how it “wears” for a few hours before you buy.

Avalon Organics and Kiss My Face, which you can find in health food stores and in chains like Whole Foods, also make skin care products with natural ingredients, and their formulas are designed to be kind to skin.  I currently use a lavender-citrus skin lotion from Kiss My Face, and lavender-citrus face wash and toner from Avalon.  I happen to like that combination of scents, but once again, it’d be a good idea to sniff before you buy.

I have no recommendations for more natural sunscreen products and I’d sure like to find one.  Do any of you have any experience with those that you’d like to share?

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By infmom, September 7, 2008 3:10 pm

Frequently asked questions about tattoos and tattooing:

How do I get a good tattoo?

It’s not a simple or instant process, so don’t go thinking you can just walk into the nearest shop and come out with something fantastic. You’ll need to do research. Go to as many tattoo parlors as you can and look carefully at the artists’ portfolios. Never mind the flash on the walls. Concentrate on what the artist puts out as examples of his or her work. Also, when you’re out and about, if you see someone with tattoos that appeal to you, don’t be shy. Most multicolored people are delighted to hear you like their artwork. Ask where they got it. Carry something you can write on so you can make a note of where to look.

How much does it cost?

This is something each artist determines for him/herself. Most charge by the hour, and many have a one hour minimum. You should get an estimate from the artist when you discuss your design. The final price may or not be the same as the estimate, but it should give you an idea of what to expect. And be sure to bring extra money to tip the artist. Good work should be rewarded.

Can’t I just find something on the wall in the tattoo parlor I like and go with that?

Absolutely, if what you want is something that’s on the tattoo parlor wall.

What do I need to do to prepare to get tattooed?

Bathe or shower that morning. Wear clothing that you can adjust or remove without flashing the neighborhood. Eat a light meal shortly before your appointment but don’t stuff yourself. Don’t drink a lot of water or soda, because you don’t want to interrupt the artist repeatedly to go to the bathroom. Do not, under any circumstances, get drunk. If you’re nervous, have a good friend or family member go with you for support.

What do I do after I get tattooed?

Besides pay the artist and tip him or her, you mean? Be sure your artist gives you aftercare instructions. Don’t let him/her put plastic wrap over your new ink. You may want to keep the bandage on overnight so you don’t stick to your bedsheets. Wash your tattoo according to the instructions and keep it moisturized with the product your artist recommends, or with Burt’s Bees Hand Salve, which contains just about the same ingredients as proprietary after-tat products and is much more widely available. Do not pick the scabs off, do not scratch no matter how much it itches (and it will) and don’t be in a hurry to get out in the sun. Healing takes time and your body is unique, so don’t go by someone else’s timetable.

And the #1 frequently asked question: Does it hurt?

You betcha. But getting it removed hurts worse. So be very sure of what you want, where you want it, and whom you want to apply it before you start!

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By infmom, July 29, 2008 12:18 pm

As I was working on this series of posts, my son reminded me that one member of my family did have major objections to tattoos. Fortunately, when I got my first one, my mother lived clear on the other side of the country and could only raise objections over the long-distance telephone. (And she did!)

However, I had no idea my mom hated tattoos till I was past the point of no return. I was 46 and my mom was 67 at the time and I didn’t think I needed to consult with her first. She never stopped objecting to my tattoos (and commenting on how a lot of people she knew were getting them and she didn’t like that, either) but I didn’t let that stop me from going ahead with more. Age and distance do have their benefits.

However, for friends and family within much closer proximity I really don’t advise the “Tough beansies, it’s my body” approach. It’s vitally important to acknowledge that the other person’s (or people’s) opinion is just as valid as your own, and try to work out some kind of compromise. Naturally, as with all compromises, neither side will be entirely satisfied. But neither side should feel steamrollered, either.

Tattoos don’t have to be visible under normal everyday circumstances (and given how many employers’ dress codes forbid them, the inconspicuous placement is for the best). If your partner asks why you’d get ink that nobody’s going to know is there, of course the answer is that you yourself will know. You can start small, perhaps with a design on a shoulderblade that even a sleeveless shirt won’t reveal. Today’s artists can pack a lot of meaning into a small space. Talk with your artist and explain that you need to be accommodating to your partner’s objections. A good artist can help you find just the right design and placement.

What to do if your partner lays down a “It’s my way or the highway” ultimatum? There’s no clear answer to that, if you want the relationship to continue (and needless to say, it’s just as wrong to issue such an ultimatum yourself). Is a relationship where only one person’s feelings are valid worth continuing? In that case, there’s a lot more than just body art at stake.

Have you worked past someone’s major objections to body art? Care to share how it worked? I’m sure there are a lot of people who would like to know.

photo credit: greefus groinks

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By infmom, July 27, 2008 11:54 am

When partners have very strong opinions on the issue of tattoos, and those opinions are radically different, sometimes it feels like there’s no resolution unless one person gives in. Which, of course, will make the person whose feelings get overridden even more unhappy.

People who hate tattoos have their reasons, from bad personal experiences to family / religious teachings
to objections to the look of ink “messing up” someone’s body. All of which are perfectly valid justification for one’s feelings. For multicolored people to deny the validity of those feelings would cause even more problems. But people who want tattoos feel just as passionately about them. I know what it’s like to crave a tattoo, but how to explain that to someone who’s never had that feeling?

Communication, of course, is the key. (Yeah, doesn’t that sound obvious?) Both people have to be able to express their feelings clearly and without putting the other person down. It might be best for each person to sit and write down how they feel, allowing plenty of time to explain the whys and wherefores. Putting things in writing takes time and encourages thinking. You don’t have to write a book or even an essay. Just put your thoughts down on paper as clearly as you can. Then, of course, you exchange papers with your partner, with an agreement to read and try to understand.

Seeing how the other person feels, and why, without the heated emotion of a big argument can be a real eye opener. Many times, there is a soothing answer to the worst concerns. If your partner is concerned about the look of visible tattoos, could your ink be placed where it’s usually covered by clothing? If your partner is concerned about “sagging” and how bad it might look when you get older, could you point out that there are a lot of areas of the body that don’t show and don’t sag? If your partner doesn’t want you covered with ink, could you offer to start with something very small and let him or her get used to the idea gradually?

If you want to get the tattoo as a memorial to someone, or to show your feelings, could you write down what you plan to do, and where, and why, to explain why it’s so important to you to have it done? Would it help to ask to have your partner come with you for support during the actual tattoo? If your partner objects to your being that close to someone else for that long, especially in the state of undress necessary for some designs, would it help to choose an artist of your same gender?

Each point that each person makes should be considered by the other–not with the idea of raising objections, but with the idea of mutual cooperation. It might help to write answers to each point, again with the idea of discussion rather than confrontation. Yeah, it might feel weird or stupid to be exchanging notes, but would you rather exchange notes or insults in the heat of battle?

Next message, a few more thoughts on compromise.

photo credit: massdistraction

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By infmom, July 25, 2008 11:38 am

A reader recently asked a question about what to do when one’s spouse / partner / significant other has serious objections to tattoos.

I know a lot of people do have strong feelings on the subject and tattoos still carry negative images to many people. It’s not easy to get past that kind of visceral reaction and it can often cause big trouble for partners who have opposing opinions on the matter. After all, it’s not like you can get a real tattoo and just wash it off if your partner doesn’t like it.

Tattoos are one of the most permanent ways of expressing one’s feelings. For some of us, it feels necessary to get them. Essential. Part of who we are. We put our feelings into our ink and we mark ourselves permanently to show the strength of what we feel. All of my tattoos were done with a specific purpose in mind. I waited many years before I walked into a tattoo parlor for the first time, but when I went through that door I was certain of what I wanted and why.

Fortunately, my husband has a live-and-let-live attitude and didn’t for a moment think it was his place to say no. In fact, he came along with my daughter and me on one of our trips, and watched the process with interest, although he’ll never get a tattoo himself.

To be honest, I don’t know what I would have done if he’d raised objections. I love and respect my husband and our marriage is one of mutual cooperation (for the most part). Fortunately, over the years we’ve been together, we have learned to communicate, and I would hope that we could have talked about it together and reached some kind of compromise.

In the next messages, I’ll talk about some possible ways to work things out. Granted, I’m not talking from anti-tattoo-partner experience (thank goodness) but we’ve worked out other problems that we feel strongly about and I’ll extrapolate from that.

photo credit: cpbills

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By infmom, April 13, 2007 4:12 pm

The other night, one of the local TV stations was doing a story on free English lessons being offered by a local community. The reporter, who obviously did not speak Spanish, was asking Spanish speaking people if they spoke English.

And she mentioned the free lessons, using the word “libre” for “free.”

Yes, “libre” means “free,” but in the sense of “freedom.” The word she wanted was “gratis,” which means “free” in the sense of “no cost.”

How does this enter into the world of tattoos? Because Asian symbols (Kanji) are very popular as tattoo designs. They are beautiful in and of themselves, and of course they mean something as well. However, the handy-dandy translations provided by various web sites might not be entirely accurate.

A Chinese friend once told me that she’d been walking through the mall one day and had seen a woman with a Chinese character tattooed on her shoulder. “I wonder if she knew that the word was bitch,” said my friend.

Could go either way! The woman could very well have chosen that symbol herself, or someone else might have given it to her and told her it meant something else entirely, as a joke. And how would someone who can’t read Chinese know for sure, in the latter case?

If you want a lovely Asian character adorning your body, be very, very sure that what you get is what you mean to get. There are subtle differences (as in the example of “libre” and “gratis” above) and it’s all too easy to pick the wrong character. Not only will you be permanently adorned with something you didn’t mean to say, but you might well be walking around with a design that would be offensive to people who really know what the character means.

OK, that might not matter to some people. But why take chances? If you can’t check your character with someone you trust who speaks the language, be sure you can find the same identical translation of it in multiple sources before you put it on your body till the end of time (or till you can afford laser treatment, whichever comes first).

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By infmom, March 4, 2007 4:06 pm

What do you wear when you go to get your ink?

The obvious answer would be “something that won’t get in the way.” But the location of the tattoo plays a large part in the choice of clothing, too. If you’re getting ink on your arm, it’s no biggie to wear a tank top if you’re a woman, or just remove your shirt if you’re a man. That takes care of clearing the decks for action while the ink is being applied, but what about afterwards? Putting a long-sleeved shirt back on over fresh ink, even if it’s bandaged, might be more of a problem than one expected.

And what if you’re a woman getting ink on areas normally covered by clothing? If your artist has private booths and you don’t mind being more-naked-than-usual in front of a stranger, problem solved. But for a relatively public place, you’ve got to think about how you’ll be sufficiently covered. When I got the tattoo on my shoulder blade, I went out and bought an inexpensive beige tube bra (new) and several loose-fitting button-up shirts (from the thrift store, so if the ink stained them, no biggie). When the time came, I just took off my shirt and sat in the chair wearing jeans and the tube bra. I was revealing less of myself than I would have in a bathing suit. I was comfortable even though the chair was right by the front door and anyone could look in the window even if they didn’t come inside. I wore tube bras during the healing process, too, so there were no bra straps to rub against the healing skin.

What if you’re getting ink on an area normally covered by pants and/or underpants? You’re the only one who can decide if baring that part of your anatomy to the world (if there are no private booths) is going to be within your comfort zone. This is something you should take into consideration when you’re planning where to place your ink.

Your new tattoo will “weep” for several days after it’s applied. Most artists advise not reapplying the bandage once you’ve taken it off, so it’s a good idea to wear clothes that don’t rub against the newly-inked area, and that you don’t mind getting multicolored splotches on. This is where thrift-store outfits can really help. If you’ve only paid a couple bucks for the shirt or sweat pants (or whatever) you won’t care if they get stained. And clothing from the thrift store is much likely to be soft and “broken in” so you don’t have to worry about stiff fabric causing problems.

Your artist will have suggestions, and you should ask him or her after you’ve discussed the tattoo and where it’s to be placed. If you’re new to being multicolored, you don’t want to ruin the ink by being fashionable instead of comfortable.

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By infmom, February 24, 2007 12:07 pm

Not everyone likes tattoos. (Wow, talk about a revelation, hmm?) And a lot of people who don’t like tattoos are not shy about saying so.

What happens if you’re a multicolored person in a tattoo-hating family? What happens if you’ve got a parent or sibling who is bound and determined to tell you off about what you did to yourself? When you’ve got a lifetime of actions and reactions built up, how do you get past all that and explain what the other person can’ t seem to understand?

I think the person who comes up with a definitive answer to that will make a fortune. Needless to say, I’m not the one. Not yet, anyway.

As I’ve mentioned, I first got the idea of getting a tattoo when I was 16. I already had a pretty good idea of how my parents felt about things like that (they didn’t want me to get my ears pierced, for one thing). Little did I know that 40 years later when I finally got my first real tattoo, my mother would still feel the same way.

Good thing I was in Los Angeles and she was in Georgia when it happened, that’s all I can say. She happened to call me the day I got my tattoo. Maybe I shouldn’t have waited till the end of the conversation to just casually slip that fact into the discussion. But I suspect she would have hit the roof no matter what.

Now, granted, my mom’s in her seventies, and in her day, tattoos were more a matter of soldiers, sailors and Lady Luck. I can see not being thrilled at the idea of your daughter coming home from some scummy dockside place with a busty babe, dice and a winning poker hand inked into her arm. And it wasn’t as though I’d ever, oh, mentioned that I wanted a tattoo in all those years. So her “You did WHAAAAAAAT?” was understandable.

But in the ten years since then, my mother hasn’t changed her mind one bit. She didn’t even want to look at my ink. Not even the multicolored Chinese dragon that I designed in honor of her mother. She doesn’t like tattoos. End of story. At least I’m old enough to give myself permission to get them. And now that tattoo parlors require people to be of legal age in order to get inked, the issue of getting a reluctant parent to give permission shouldn’t come up any more. That doesn’t mean that one’s relatives won’t raise a fuss if they feel strongly about the issue, though.

Whether to consult with family members beforehand or present them with a fait accompli is best left to individual discretion. One does have to consider whether the tattoo is worth long-term family animosity, though. In some cases it might be better to wait and give people a chance to get used to the idea. Or make sure the tattoo is applied to an area that can be easily and completely hidden from view for as long as necessary.

However, in my case there was an amusing postscript to the parental reaction. A year or so after I got my first tattoo, I found a web site that would let me send off for photocopies of the paperwork my great-grandfather signed when he enlisted in the Canadian Expeditionary Force in WWI. When the papers arrived, I discovered two things. One, his handwriting and his daughter’s (my mother’s mother’s) was nearly identical. And two, he had three tattoos, one of which was a dragon.

I called my mother and told her this. “It’s genetic,” I said, “and it’s all your fault.”

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By infmom, February 17, 2007 12:00 pm

Once you’ve decided on your design, and taken the various inks and colors into consideration (you did do that, right?) then it’s time to give some thought to the placement of the tattoo.

Many people figure they want it where they want it and if someone else objects, tough. I can understand that. And I’m as much an admirer of full sleeves and hand tattoos as anyone. But unfortunately the entire rest of the world isn’t like that.

Many employers still have dress code that forbids open display of body art. Yeah, stick in the mud, yadda yadda yadda… but they do.

Tattoos are permanent, or in the ideal world they should be. So why put limits on your future by putting something permanent in some area of your body that you can’t easily cover up? You’ve got plenty of skin that you can put clothing over if necessary, so why not start with those areas and think about the more visible places later?

I’ve even run into problems covering up the seven-star swoosh over my right collarbone. Most open-collared shirts reveal one or two stars, and a V-neck or scoop-neck shirt shows off most of the design. You can bet when I’ve gone on job interviews I’ve buttoned everything up just to be safe. It might well be that the interviewers would have liked the design, but I didn’t take any chances. Job interviews are stressful enough without worrying if you’re inflaming someone else’s prejudices.

Of course, once I was hired and had settled in and people had gotten used to me, then I felt a bit more at ease about letting a star or two show. Then I’ve been asked if the design was “real” (why no, I drew it on myself with colored markers just this morning) and people have asked to see the rest of it. Like most multicolored people I’m happy to show off my ink. But in any new situation involving employment and acceptance by one’s work environment it was better to start off slow.

So–think design. Think ink. Think placement. Getting a tattoo is something that requires more thinking than you think. Or words to that effect.

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